His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
