Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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