First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
