Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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