if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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