And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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