Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
