I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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