You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
