in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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