the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
