we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sober January is a disaster.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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