i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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