New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
