HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
