we have pet lesbian snakes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
