farters have to be the big spoon...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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