If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
