I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
