Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
