you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
