Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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