My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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