after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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