She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
