we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize