Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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