theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
