am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
