Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
