the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
