idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
