omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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