school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize