Jerry, you need to find god
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
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