I just made out with a guy for $7.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
