oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
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