Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
