i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
