She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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