she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
