tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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