East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
