but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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