do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
