she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
