No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
