I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
