She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
