just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
