Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
