Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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