What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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