im holly from the hills drunk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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