I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
