Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
