I'm so fucking centered right now
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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