But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
