how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
