Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am naked and annoyed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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