haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He shit in the fireplace
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
