She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize